Deep insight

My whole life waiting for the right time.

Yes, indeed. How true can that be? It seems that for me there will be no right time, since it's already thrown to waste. My mistake, to be honest, misjudgment of character, wrong impression of person...

To tell you how I feel

What do I feel? I have no idea. Hate? Obsession? Interest? The L-word? No idea. We don't know each other, not anymore.

It would be really weird, awkward, to talk about it.

Know I try to tell you that I need you

Hmmm. Do I try to? I know I like to think I try, and for a few times I really have. Everything has been ready a pair of times, but it just didn't seem like the right time. I could ruin your day with this. It's not just about me, y'know.

Here I am without you

Needless to say. I must be doing something wrong. Or this just never meant to happen.

I feel so lost but what can I do?

Yes, tell me. Tell you? You know, you do. Why haven't you done anything, why should I? It seems it's only me. I've bothered enough, but perhaps I just need to give it the final push. Get it over with.

'Cause I know this love feels real

There we go. Love. Whatever it is, surely it would have to be mutual. I heard sometime, that it's a crush if you don't know the person. It's a crush if it's been short, it's a crush if it's one-sided. So what in earth would it make it love? Too many definitions, too many different truths.

What I do know is that I failed, in looking for it and in getting to know it.

But I don't know how to feel

Come undone or stay put? Move forwards or look back in time? Try to rebuild what's already been lost? Merely try to get one glimpse, when I know you'll want a glimpse back, too?

Is it hard to decide? If it's for you like it is for me, I guess I could understand you. It must be even harder. Not everyday should you find things like that out. Specially from someone you thought was your friend. At least that's what I thought we were.

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For those of you who read this and have no idea what I'm talking of... good for you!

Much better, my head is a messy place, you wouldn't want to know about it.

For those of you who think they know what this is about... fuck you. You were never supposed to know about, and you definitely should just.

And finally, for those who know what this is about... I'm sorry! I truly am. Why did it end up this way, I have no idea.

You'll have to blame the one person who pointed that song out for me.

Perhaps I'll write something more ... rational tomorrow.

This was just on a whim.